F you, Universe

Last night/this morning I layed in bed outlining a blog post in my head. What I am posting now is considerably different from what I was thinking at the time, because events have happened to change my thoughts. I didn't have a lapse in judgment or a weak moment, I just did what I wanted to do without thinking about the consequences. But I'll start from the beginning...

Last night was the first time in quite a while that I've really felt at peace. Like legitimate happiness and contentment with life. I know I'm blessed, but acknowledging that I'm lucky doesn't mean that I love who I've become. But, I don't know, something just clicked last night and I completely feel like the person I want to be. I'm happy with things, I'm not overreacting to my emotions, etc... Honestly, I hadn't seen you know who in a while and we weren't really talking, especially about our feelings. I kind of attributed my sudden clarity to that, but now, I know that isn't the case.

I'm used to late night calls on Saturday nights, so I wasn't surprised last night at four thirty. But thanks to my new found happiness, I drifted to sleep pretty quickly after it. Anyway, point of the story is that I was awoken by the best of dreams, except it wasn't a dream. That's right, friends. I don't know if it was the minorly nonchalant behavior (because we all know I can't legitimately not care) or what, but what I've been vying for for so long was finally happening. He was missing me. You think this is the climax of the story, but no, its just the preface. Here it is: right when I'm realizing this isn't a dream, I puke. Yeah, it happened. Full blown, I have to run out of the room and tie my hair up puking. Thanks universe. Finally, when I am getting the satisfaction of having the upper hand- being missed, hearing these amazing things- you make me so sick to my stomach that I have to run out of the room?!

Well, let me tell the universe something. No sir, it is not going down like that. So clearly, about ten minutes after I drift off to sleep (blog in mind), guess what- the universe is shown what's up. I think I asked if I was dreaming eight times, no exxageration. I'll spare you the details. Fast forward- I wake up thinking that this is going to be rough, I'm back to square one. But no, yet again, I am pleased to announce that I am happy and relaxed and content. Hearing things like I heard this morning without getting my hopes up is a pretty huge feat for me, so please my friends, be proud. 

Morgan: 1
Universe: 0

Obviously we're starting this tally from last night.


Note: The post before this, Thoughts, was not about this, and it is still kind applicable. I'm quite pleased with that.




Love Always.